I have some sort of respiratory infection and my voice has, for two full weeks now, been scratchy and inconsistent.
It is weird having to drop out of things. There were things I was looking forward to attending, but I don’t want to while sick because I don’t want to spread the infection. This includes homeschooling activities as well as activist activities. It feels weird and lonely suddenly at home all the time.
It is weird not being able to read to my children. Normally if I’m not feeling up to doing schoolwork with them at the least we’ll sit and I’ll read a novel to them. I can’t read right out loud right now. On the other hand, I’m loving the amount I’m reading to myself right now, most of it related to my pirate project.
It is weird trying to help the kids accept my not being my normal self. On one hand they have been incredibly compassionate and helpful. My youngest in particular will, without being asked, suddenly appear at my side with a glass of water for me because she heard me coughing. The boys have helped out entertaining their sister and with making meals. Yet at the same time the boys express levels of frustration at my being sick. It brings up all sorts of thoughts about my obligations to them. Have I let them feel too entitled? Or what level of entitlement is a natural part of a happy childhood and what level becomes scary?
It is weird feeling lonely, because we aren’t going out.