We’ve been making collages here recently, and I’m finding it very relaxing for the very same reason I used to find them stressful. I used to hate cutting into some old magazine. It didn’t matter how long the magazine had sat unread, I didn’t want to damage it. There would always be that possibility that at some point someone would want to read about whatever it was the article was about. Then too, there would always be the possibility that cutting out one picture destroyed the picture on the other side. That sense of destruction used to make it too stressful.
Now somehow I find it soothing. As I cut the paper I’m reminding myself that these things, these piles of paper are not important. The possibility of reading that article, the possibility of learning about that topic, neither of those matter. Not ever decision matters and whatever happens will be alright.
It is about letting go. Letting go of unread magazines. Letting go of expectations for myself. Letting go of perfection. Creating something silly with the children. I dragged my perfectionist son into doing collages to try to help him with the same lesson.
Now, if only I could bring myself to take some of the unread books down to the used bookstore. But I don’t think I’m ready for that. One step at a time.